I want a (well-trained) dog

Nemo is testing me, methinks.

Yesterday we spent the day the Renningers flea market, mostly outside, but couldn't take Nemo because it's against the rules of Philly Car Share unless you crate your dog. I don't even know anyone who owns a crate big enough for Nemo.

So he was home alone from like 9 am to 6 p.m., which is a long day for him. Not from the bladder perspective, but from the loneliness one. He's with me all day most of every day, and if I do leave him for meetings or whatever, it's usually for no more than a few hours.

So last night I was aghast--literally--to discover that the rug I'd moved into the kitchen has a big hole (okay, maybe not so big, but noticeable) chewed in one side. And of course I was just praising him in my mind for being so not destructive at ALL, the only casualties over the past 18 months have been some fringe on an old rug and a few leashes--okay, many leashes, but that's because he doesn't like being left tied up.

I needed a new kitchen rug anyway, but I'm going to have to up the alpha a little, I think. He knew when I found it that I was upset because he did the usual--went and hid behind Gavin, with his head and tail down. A sad showing, for sure. Gr!

Nemo and I take walks every morning (when we're not staying in the city) out in the town-owned land behind our house. It's woods and fields, and Nemo gets out all his craziness and hunter's desires. He's not a dog who frolicks much in the dog park, but put him in the woods or a field--especially if there's a stream?!--and he's a madman. I have to be careful to keep track of where he is because he comes past me at such speed that he can literally knock me down.

This costs a bit of time on the other end--I have to hose him down, do tick checks, wipe him off before we come inside--but it's so worth it to see him so happy and to let him get some exercise (and me too) before breakfast. Especially since he has to spend the rest of the day sitting by my desk while I work.

Recently I've been thinking I need to get Neemes a hunting vest, and/or a bell for his collar, and/or a muzzle. To date he's caught (though hopefully not killed) two woodchucks (groundhogs?), which sent both G and I over the edge. What I'm afraid is that since it's spring, he'll come upon some fawns and it will be all over. We'll end up having to nurse back to health and then raise Bambi in the garage and ultimately make room for her on the bed. And believe me, there's no room for her on the bed.

I've started doing something new with Nemo, that seems to be working like a charm. When he starts getting uppity or aggressive towards another dog (which really only happens with this one German shepherd who lives on the same block as my office, with certain bigger/more alpha males at the dog park, and with Rex and Snickers out here in Jersey), I get all Dog Whisperer on him, get him over on his side, keep one hand on his neck and another on his hip, and keep him there until the dog passes. It works like a charm. He seriously submits entirely, and actually looks totally relaxed, instead of insane and straining on the leash like crazy. (We've stopped using the prong collar--partly out of convenience and partly because he's much better about pulling.)

It's one of those things that I knew about intellectually but wasn't ready to put into action. But now that I've had him for 18 months, and we're side by side constantly, I feel more confident in my ability to dominate him--so that he can relax and calm down, not so that I can feel bigger and stronger. Mostly it's just embarrassing to have other dog owners at the dog park see me struggle with him. I recall vividly the first (and really only) time he snapped at me, in front of the whole morning crew, when I tried to get him (for the 300th time) to stop eating wood chips. I knew right away that I should throw him over on his side and get on top of him, but I wasn't up to doing it with an audience. Instead I just tried not to flinch and got us on our way.

Now that I think of it, the real reason I can do this now with an 85-lb. dog is that he stole some of my lunch. After the birthday cake incident (which was entirely my fault) I figured food on the counter was safe so long as Nemo wasn't left alone for hours with it out on the counter. About a month ago I had defrosted a pound of hamburger, and left it on the corner of the sink while I was waiting for the Foreman Grill to heat up. I walked down the hall to my office to check an e-mail, and about 10 seconds later heard a sound in the kitchen, and when I looked up, all I could see was his two front paws up on the counter--his head was out of view behind the refrigerator. I let out a howl and came running down the hall, and to my surprise he didn't scarf down the rest of what was there before I got to him (his usual trick). I was so pissed off (not even that he misbehaved so much as that he took my lunch) that without thinking I yelled at him and threw him down on his side, saying "No."

He stayed like that on the kitchen floor for the next 20 minutes without a flinch.

I feel like I've graduated to a new level of alpha status, where I'm more comfortable in my skin and not constantly wondering whether I'm doing it right. It feels sort of natural, and he feels more naturally submissive. If only I could count on him to be this way with other alpha dogs.